The staff didn’t know if this was progress or something worse. Dr. Ashford’s notes warned that separation resulted in death. But this wasn’t a forced separation; it was a choice, and it raised a question no one wanted to ask. If the children chose to individuate, what did that mean for who they had been before? In March 1976, one of the older girls, about 23, though she looked even younger, asked a nurse for her name. Not the nurse’s, but her own. It was the first time a girl had shown any interest in her individual identity. The surprised nurse checked the admission records. There were no names. The children were listed by number, from Subject 1 to Subject 11. The girl looked at the nurse for a long moment and then walked away. That evening, she spoke English for the first time. She said, “We’ve forgotten.” The nurse asked her what she meant. The girl looked at her with her dark, steady eyes and said, “We’ve forgotten how to be Dalhart.”
By 1978, the children had deteriorated. Not physically, but mentally. They began to show confusion, memory lapses, and what the staff described as an identity crisis. They forgot their own faces. One boy spent an entire day convinced he was one of the girls. Another claimed she had died years before and that the person who had replaced her was someone else. They stopped recognizing each other. The synchronicity that had once defined them was gone, replaced by chaos. Two of the children became violent, not with the staff, but with each other, as if trying to destroy something they could no longer control. They were sedated and separated into different rooms. Both died within 48 hours. The official cause of death was heart failure, but their hearts had been perfectly healthy the day before. It was as if their bodies had simply given up the moment they could no longer be who they had always been.
By 1980, only four of the original eleven children were still alive. The state decided to close Riverside Manor. The residence was too expensive.